10 Reasons
by Vonna Plum
Summary: RoyxRiza Threeshot Friendship Fic Roy writes a list of 10 reasons why he should be promoted. Too bad it did nothing to help him get any closer to promotion. Light humour R&R Plz Flames and Constructive Critism Welcome
1. Chicks Dig High Ranks

_Disclaimer: I wish I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't. I'm just a crazy fan. Happy? Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa. Story and Art by Horomu Arakawa. I own NOTHING!!!_

_Chapter Summary: Roy is ordered to write a list of 10 reasons why he should be promoted._

_Rating is subject to change, but most likely will stay at T. I was gonna write this fanfic about snow and stuff…but I suddenly had this mad idea, so I wrote my mad idea. After I wrote the first paragraph, I got another mad idea. So here it is- Vonna Plum's Doubly Mad Idea!!!_

_---_

10 Reasons

**T for now**

_Chapter 1: Chicks dig high ranks._

It was a beautiful snowy day at Central, the snow piling up a pretty even half a metre on the ground and the snow still drifting innocently to the ground. A black haired man, going by the name Roy, was standing at the window of a large building, his eyes ever analysing. His concentration based solely on doing practically nothing at all.

"Sir?"

A feminine voice ushered him back to reality. He turned from the window and sat down at his desk. He looked at the voice's owner, and replied,

"Yes…?"

"The Fuhrer wants you to write ten reasons why you should be promoted." She stated, getting straight to the point.

"Ten?!"

"That's what I said, Colonel."

Roy sighed and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Is he losing his memory? He knows why I want to be promoted." Roy said to himself before writing "Roy Mustang's Reasons to get Promoted" at the top of his page.

"Just do it, sir."

"Fine, fine, as you were before then, Lieutenant Hawkeye." Roy sighed again.

"You mean, when I was doing your paperwork?" Her voice was cold and rather annoyed.

"You know it." Roy smirked. She narrowed her eyes and walked off to her own desk.

Half an hour later, all Roy had written was "1. I want to change the way the government is run." And a few little flames scribbled on the corner of his page.

He looked up at his Lieutenant. Her blonde hair fell into her eyes slightly; the rest was clipped up at the back. Roy had only seen her with her hair down once, and that only time was when she took it down only to redo it again a few seconds later. Her face was perfectly shaped and her uniform was kept well.

'Too bad it's not that showy…' Roy thought to himself. Heck, all he saw was her face, neck and hands. If he was lucky he would see her arms, but otherwise, she was covered up- very well.

Another hour later, Roy had finally decided he was done.

"Riiiii-zaaa…" Roy dragged out. His eyes were drooped in boredom.

"Don't call me that. What is it, sir?" Riza said, annoyed at the fact that he had broken her concentration.

"I'm done…Riza." Roy stated, regretting calling her Riza again. She was probably going to-

Yup.

Riza stood infront of Roy, holding a gun straight at his nose.

"I feel calling each other by the first name is unprofessional and un-needed in the office," Riza hissed coldly, "…sir." She added onto the end.

Roy pushed the gun out of his face quite easily, and handed her a piece of paper.

"Here, give this to the Fuhrer." Roy ordered.

"Uhh…" Riza looked down at the paper.

'_Roy Mustang's Reasons to be Promoted_

_1. I want to change the way the government is run._

_2. I said I would._

_3. Chicks dig high ranks._

_4. To change the female military uniforms so that they show more skin_

_5. Why did you have to choose ten, sir?_

_6. I can't think of anything else!!!_

_7. This is your form of torture isn't it?!_

_8. Making me think so much…dying…dying…_

_9. Oh here's one; I want to change the uniforms so that women have to wear tiny miniskirts._

_10. Damn! I've already said that! Oh look, I've reached 10. I'm done.'_

"What is it?" Roy asked. Riza inspected the little rows of flames at the top and bottom of the page.

"Uhh, with all due respect, sir, I don't believe you should give something like this to the Fuhrer. Let alone put 'damn' into one of your reasons" Riza stated.

"Oh really? Why?"

"Well, for one, you only have one good reason on this thing, and two, I don't think your page should be decorated with little flames." Riza said in such a tone it made her sound like she was stated the obvious.

"Oh, it'll be fine, now off you go." Roy waved his hand in front of her face in a brash motion.

"But, sir, you can't-"

"I said, go." Roy ordered.

"…Yes, sir." Riza saluted and walked out the door.

Riza walked down the hallway and up a lift to the top floor, which was where the Fuhrer's office was.

She knocked on the door and waited for the Fuhrer's permission to come in.

"Come in." The Fuhrer's voice rang out. Riza slipped through the door, stood at attention and saluted.

"Ahh, Lieutenant Hawkeye. Do you have Mustang's reasons?"

"Yes, Sir." Riza walked up to his desk and placed it facing down on the front of the desk.

"Good, thank you, Hawkeye." The Fuhrer said in a dismissive way. Riza saluted again and then left.

A few moments later, the Fuhrer picked up the piece of paper and read it. He gapped at the paper and then slowly read out to himself,

"'_Chicks dig high ranks'_?"

**End of Chapter One.**

**---**

_Tada!!! R&R Please. _

_This is set...Before the Pride/King Bradley died, but after Ed became Fullmetal._

_Next part coming up, I'll put it up when it's done (well, duh). 'Til then, See ya._

_Original Written Date: Finished 2:43PM , 14__th__ July 2007. _


	2. Shooting Snow

_Disclaimer: I wish I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't. I'm just a crazy fan. Happy? Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa. Story and Art by Hiromu Arakawa. I own NOTHING!!!_

_OOOKKAAYYY!!!_

_I know I had a Chapter 2 up before, but it seems to have disappeared again (o.O). If you wanna know what on earth is going on, I tried to explain in on my User Profile/Bio thing (it's the __**Bold**__ writing)._

_I've gone to the fuss of re-writing it, because I luved it so much I didn't mind redoing it. This means that there will be some differences between Chapter 2 and new re-written-coz-it's-lost-in-my-junk Chapter 2. I'll try and remember as much as I can._

_On a lighter note, I got another mad idea while I was reading the new Harry Potter book (no, it will not become a Harry Potter/FMA crossover), so now it's Three shot! If I get another Mad idea, it will become Four shot…Five shot…whatever. _

_Erm, if I've forgotten something, if anyone has read this first one, could you tell me in a review…I can't remember how it started so…yeah…Off we go!_

_---_

Riza walked back to the office, slipped through the door and returned to her desk. She looked at Roy, who was currently staring out the window.

"Did you give it to him?" Roy asked, not turning from the window.

"Yes sir" Riza replied.

"And you didn't modify it?"

"You were expecting me to change it for you?!" Roy turned to her sharply.

"What do you expect?! That I'd let him read something as crazy as that?!"

"Uhh…" Riza stopped and thought a bit before continuing, "…Yeah." Roy just snarled slightly at her.

"I have to get it back from him! If I don't, I'll never ever EVER be promoted!!!"

"Calm down, sir!"

"But if he hasn't read it yet, I'll just ask for it back and change the whole thing again!"

"Change it to what? They were practically all ridiculous! You'd probably just change them all into more ridiculous stuff!"

Roy raced across the office towards the door and wrenched it open. Riza jumped up as well and grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going?!" Roy stopped trying to pull away from her slightly. He turned to her and spat out,

"I'm going to the Fuhrer's office of course!"

"And what are you going to do?! Barge into his office and tell him you were going crazy and just couldn't think? Or that you had a mental blank for one and a half hours?" Riza persisted. She couldn't bare the thought of her superior bashing down the head honcho's door and reeking havoc.

"He's probably already read it anyway!" Riza clung to Roy's arm.

"He- WHAT?! I've gotta go NOW!" Roy pulled himself out the door, dragging Riza out slightly with him.

"Calm down! How about we go training, eh?" Riza said in such a tone it made her sound like she was coaxing a fork-wielding baby away from an electric socket, "We haven't gone training for a looong time and it might help calm you down."

((_A/N: I've totally forgotten how I calmed Roy down, so I'm going to have to improvise or something…_))

"Ah, What's the use? If he's read it already…" Roy drifted off into thought for a second then pulled his arm away and continued his staring out the window.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think, Riza?" Riza's eye twitched in anger at this, "I'm going to stay here and wait for my demotion." Roy finished.

"What?! We're going training!"

"No thanks."

"Why not?!"

"I'm waiting for my demotion"

"Come on! We're going training!"

"Hey!"

"What is it?"

"I just got this _brilliant _idea! Let's go training!" Riza rolled her eyes at this as Roy grabbed their coats and pulled her out the door and down to the ground floor.

-x-

Roy must have pulled Riza around the military grounds for ages before suddenly stopping, making Riza run into his back.

"Oh, sorry sir." Riza apologized as Roy handed her coat to her and threw his own down onto the ground. Riza slipped on her coat and looked around.

There was practically nothing at their destination but snow. The snow did not stretch on endlessly, but there was definitely a lot. At the end of the field of snow was a tall four metre high wall, adorning scorch marks and bullet holes. There was nothing else there except for the snow and the poor lone wall.

"Where's the target?" Riza asked. If they were going to train, she might as well practice her accuracy.

"Everywhere." Roy stated, smiling at his own intelligence.

"We're shooting the air?" Riza asked, frowning at Roy's stupidity.

"No, no! Not the air, the _snow_." Roy corrected, still smiling.

"Ohh…" Riza, erm, 'ohhed'. She had to admit, it was a pretty good idea.

"So," Roy rubbed his hands together in anticipation, "Have you got two guns on you?" Roy asked, what a stupid question. Riza sighed and pulled out one from a holster around her waist and passed it to him before bending down and taking a gun from a holster around her ankle.

They both clicked off the safety on their guns and raised them, aiming at one of the thousands of innocent snowflakes falling around them.

"After you, Riza." Roy whispered.

Riza did not reply, and just pulled the trigger.

BANG!

She must have missed the snowflake by a hair's width. The bullet wedged itself into the wall. Seconds later, there was another bang, and a bullet joined the first one embedded into the wall.

Riza lifted her gun again, and aimed for another snowflake.

BANG!

A little 'poof' sound could be heard. She had hit one (YAY! GO RIZA!!). Riza turned to Roy, her eyes challenging him to hit a snowflake this time as well.

"It was a fat snowflake," Roy mumbled.

BANG!

Roy's second bullet did not receive a little poof. Riza held in the urge the laugh and synchronized her gun and eyes on another snowflake.

BANG! –poof-

Riza smirked. Two to Zilch. Riza loved Roy's brilliant idea. Roy murmured something about Riza always targeting the 'obese snow' as he raised his gun once again.

Aim. BANG! Another failure.

Riza giggled slightly before suppressing it quickly.

"Oh yeah? Let's see you hit another snowflake!" Roy challenged.

"Fine." Riza raised her gun once again.

Aim. BANG! –poof-

Riza couldn't help but laugh now; a huge side splitting laugh.

"I think we should take a rest now." Roy said, his eye's laughing with her.

"What?! But- It's- only- shoot- ing!" Riza spluttered out between gasps of laughter.

"I've never seen you laugh so much before." Roy stated, knowing this would shut Riza up. As predicted, Riza stopped laughing, but still had a smile on her face.

With a huge content sigh, she fell backwards into the snow, her gun still in her hand.

"Colonel?"

"That's my title, not my name." Roy stated as he looked down at Riza's happy figure.

"If you tell anyone I was laughing this hard I'll…" Riza thought hard for a moment, "…I'll tell everyone you don't know how to think."

"I never said that!" Roy stated sharply.

"Oh yes you did! You said in your reasons, what was it? 'Making me think to hard, dying, dying'?" Riza recited from the top of her head.

Roy was stumped at this.

Riza laughed softly then got up, leaving an imprint of her body in the snow. She turned back towards the office and said behind her shoulder,

"Come on, there's paperwork to be done!"

Roy smiled and picked up his coat. He rushed after her and fell into step next to her.

"Riza?"

"Hmm?" Riza didn't seem to mind so much about what he called her anymore.

"I wasn't stating that I couldn't think."

---

_Vonna was working very hard trying to remember stuff. I know I missed a lot (and some of the things I missed) but I didn't know where and how they fitted in so I replaced them._

_This is based on the old Chapter 2, I guess some parts are more the same then others but anyway! This one's longer than the first Chapter, and when I have to time, I'll quickly finish up the next Chapter and update._

_Sorry for any inconveniences (or confusions) about the weird Chapter 2 poofing and stuff…yeah…_

_Original Chapter 2 Written: 18__th__ July 2007_

_Chapter 2 Re-written: 22__nd__ July 2007_


	3. What a Stupid Idiot

_Disclaimer: I wish I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, but I don't. I'm just a crazy fan. Happy? Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa. Story and Art by Hiromu Arakawa. I own NOTHING!!!_

_OOOKKAAYYY!!!_

_I know I had a Chapter 2 up before, but it seems to have disappeared again (o.O). I may have to re-write that Chapter 2, as I can't find it in my folders anymore (they're so messy a tornado would be proud)…_

---

Roy and Riza trotted back into the office, only to be greeted by Havoc.

"Hey, the General wants you to- What were you to doing?" Havoc cut himself off when he saw them. Riza's back was covered in snow and they were both rather flushed from having to run back up to the office again (Riza insisted they ran so that they'd still have time to finish the paperwork). Roy's hair was a mess and Riza's hair was messily put up again in the usual clipped up way.

"Training." Riza stated.

"You were training how to roll around in the snow?"

"Now we were-" Roy was cut off.

"OHH!!! I get it! Hahaha, good one, Roy!" Havoc winked at him and elbowed him a few times in the ribs.

"What?!"

"Oh I have to spread the news!!!" Havoc exclaimed before prancing out, forgetting to tell them whatever the General wanted them to do.

There was an odd silence before Riza cried out in dispair,

"NOO!!! Now everyone thinks we're going out!!! My military career is OVER!!!!!"

"NO!!! What will my date think of me now?!" Roy exclaimed after her, earning a strange look from Riza.

"What? My bachelor-hood is over now!" Roy continued.

"Quick! Stop him!!!" Riza ordered, even though she was a lower rank.

"How?!"

"We'll shoot him! Blow him up! Whatever!!!" Riza suggested loudly before the two of them raced out the office door again in search of the doomed-to-be-blown-up-or-shot Havoc.

-x-

The next day, Riza and Roy once again went to work- just like nearly every day of many years before then.

(Roy and Riza had stopped Havoc from telling everyone BUT Fuery…who had already ran away to tell even more people, but they stopped him from yelling it out to everyone BUT he had told Breda and Falman…etc etc, they went on a wild goose chase)

"Riza?"

"It's Lieutenant, sir" Riza corrected in reply.

"Err, right, well, the Fuhrer wants you to write ten reasons why you should stay by my side when I get promoted." Roy stated with a dead serious tone in his voice.

"Oh really?" Riza asked skeptically, not wanting to believe what Roy had said.

"Yes, really" Roy replied, still not changing his strangely serious tone.

"Hmm, should I call the Fuhrer and ask him if that's true?" Riza stated to herself, wanting to really make sure Roy was telling the truth.

"Yeah, go ahead." Roy walked over to his own desk and sat down.

'_He's too serious, should I really call the Fuhrer about it?_' Riza asked herself in her head.

'_And what will you say to him? 'The Colonel told me to write 10 reasons, do I do them or not?'_' Riza thought to herself.

'_Oh just do it._' Riza gave in.

Riza pulled out a piece of paper and wrote at the top 'Why Riza Hawkeye Should be Promoted with Roy Mustang' (what a long title).

Roy lifted his newspaper open in front of his face, hiding the evil smirk on the said face.

Half an hour passed, Roy had done nothing once again, unless you count watching people out the window and doodling on a piece of paper 'work'.

Riza had actually worked diligently on her list that was supposedly for the Fuhrer. She had found it immensely hard as she too only had one or two reasons. So far she had written,

'_1) I want to protect Colonel Mustang in order for him to become Fuhrer and change the way the government is run._

_2) If I'm not there with him when he gets promoted, he will get nothing done. Nothing at all._'

Unable to think of anything else, she contemplated on doing the same as Roy. Or maybe just a bit.

'_I could…do it in a more formal way, unlike Colonel's…'reasons'…_' Riza decided.

But still another hour passed and she could not think of anything at all. How can you procrastinate out of writing ten reasons in a formal way? It's impossible! The only way to do it is to get your parents to sign a note saying that you can't do whatever you have to do (which is what I, the author, do quite a lot. You see, you have to get them to sign a blank sheet of paper first before -sorry, on with the fanfic).

"Lieutenant?" Roy snapped her out of her mental frustration.

"Yes sir?"

"Are you done? You've taken so long I've already finished all the paperwork." Riza panicked, but did not show it on the outside.

"Just about, a few more minutes should do it." Riza stated affirmatively. Roy nodded then turned to the window (to hide another evil smirk).

Riza turned back to her piece of paper. Then decided that she would just have to do what Roy did, stick it in an envelope, and make sure the Colonel _did not _read it. Riza nodded in approval to her idea and began scribbling away.

'_Why Riza Hawkeye Should be Promoted with Roy Mustang_

_1) I want to protect Colonel Mustang in order for him to become Fuhrer and change the way the government is run._

2) If I'm not there with him when he gets promoted, he will get nothing done. Nothing at all.

3) I have to prove that women can be good military soldiers as well.

4) _With all due respect, sir, I believe ten is just too much._

_5) I believe my first three reasons are good enough, are they not?_

_6) Roy said I could shoot him if he went out of line, and I believe I should stay by his side and be prepared to shoot him at any time._

_7) I would state more reasons of procrastination but I can't think of anything at the moment._

_8) You can't imagine a Roy Mustang without me next to him can you?_

_9) I meant that in a professional way, we aren't seeing each other out of work hours. Did you hear anything from Havoc or Fuery? Or maybe Falman or Breda? Well whatever they said IS NOT TRUE._

_10) I will not call this a form of torture like Mustang did (what a stupid idiot, he makes me wonder if he even has a brain), but this is definitely ridiculous._'

Riza slipped the paper into an envolope and wrote onto the top,

'_To the Fuhrer._

_NB: Colonel, Do not open this or you can say goodbye to your you-know-whats'_

Riza nodded to herself and got up to give it to Roy.

"Here, I'm finished." Riza stated, holding out the envelope in front of Roy's face.

Roy, fighting the urge the snatch it and rip it open, took it from her.

"Thanks, Lieutenant. Could you go get a coff- GAH!" Roy cut himself off when he read what the envelope said on the front. Riza mentally laughed evilly to herself.

"Uhh, well, could you go get a coffee for me? I-I'll pass this on to the Fuhrer" Roy asked, his hand shaking as it held the envelope.

"Of course, sir." Riza walked out the door and to the cafeteria.

Roy looked down at the envelope.

'_Oh no! What am I going to do, she's gonna shoot off my- if I read it!!! And her aim is so good! Even the snow knows that now!' Roy thought to himself._

'_Who cares? Open it! Open it! You weren't gonna give it to the Fuhrer anyway!' Roy's head said back to him._

'_Who are you?'_

'_Who cares? Just open it!!!'_

'_But she's probably serious about the shooting off my- '_

'_You think she'll really shoot you? If she shoots you she'll have no one to protect anymore!'_

'_She has shot me before you know.'_

'…_You're so unbelievably stubborn.'_

'_Yeah well, you're me aren't you?'_

'…'

'…'

'…'

'_Ha! Got you there!'_

'_JUST OPEN IT!!!'_

The doorknob rotated slowly and the door began to open.

'_GAHHH!!!' _Roy's head screamed as Roy shoved the envelope into his pocket and stood up.

Riza stepped in holding two coffees. Placing one down onto her desk, she walked over to Roy's desk and placed it only his desk before looking at his frozen standing figure.

"Erm, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to the Fuhrer now…" Roy lied automatically (and slightly robotic-ly) before walking cautiously over to the door.

"What about your coffee?"

"I'll be right back for it later."

"Okay…"

Roy rushed out the door 'to the Fuhrer's office'.

-x-

The next day Riza walked into the office holding more paperwork and two coffees in a cardboard holder. She dumped 60 of the paperwork onto Roy's desk and handed him a coffee. She turned sharply and sat at her own desk, sipped her coffee, and reached over to get the first sheet off her share of work, but was stopped by Roy's voice.

"Riza?"

"Yes, Roy?"

"I am not a stupid idiot. And I do have a brain, it just prefers to hibernate all year round."

---

Tada! Everything is sorted out again! Fourth Chapter possible, but don't get angry if I never ever again post up another Chapter. My brain just can't handle so many mad ideas.

_R&R please! Everything is sorted out again! Yay!!_

_Originally Written Date: From 20__th__ July to 22__nd__ July 2007._


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